This past week has been great. God has been surprising me with blessings, hope and encouragement around every corner (and in every blog). Though not much has really changed, God has been doing a work in me. And reminding me how much He loves me.
From a beautiful fall-esque day to a successful job interview; from down time with Him to an awesome day of family time, He has really been showing me Himself all week. In small (and Big) ways, He has been showing me that He is in control.
More than that, though, He has been showing me that He cares for my heart.
As I have been sharing, I have been experiencing certain levels of discontentment in my job and my single status.
I have a longing deep inside to be doing something important with my life – spreading a message of redemption and hope through my writing and art – not sitting in a cubical doing filing and data entry.
I also have a deep longing to be romanced by the right man. A man that would pursue me and love me for me; who accepts my quarks and my ambition.
This week, though, the great I AM has been doing the romancing. My Creator knows my heart better than anyone does. He knows my deepest desires; and He knows when I am reaching my wits end and need a special kind of encouragement.
He knows exactly what will speak into my heart: that certain song, that beautiful fall day, the family time that I desperately need, and even a kind smile from on of His sons. This week, he has blessed me with all of that and more.
In today’s “prosperity gospel” riddled world, we hear blessed and think that the person has a lot of money or nice things. That is not what I’m talking about. My bank account is nearly empty, my car has just enough gas to get me to work and back until my next paycheck, and my cupboards and fridge are almost bare.
The blessings I am talking about here are real blessings. I am chosen, I am loved, I am saved.
I have enough money to buy food that I get to share with others. I can pay rent on my small home that I get to open up to others. I have enough gas to get me to my place(s) of worship, get me to work, and bless others with rides.
He has even blessed me beyond these. He has opened doors for Laura and I to start a business, AngelInk Illuminations. A company we both hope to use to spread the word of hope, truth, and love to the world. We hope to inspire others to find beauty in their brokenness. Not only that, but He has opened doors that I may soon be able to leave my current job and have more time to devote to our little company.
In all of the above, I am seeing His love and care for me. Even discounting the last paragraph, or the prior two paragraphs, I know He is the greatest romancer of all. He grabbed a hold of my heart; He called me; He loved me. And, greater still: He saved me. Not my choice, but His. And, I get the luxury of accepting His gift and sharing it with the world. I get to share with the world that He will romance them, too!
His word tells us that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4). But, this is not about getting the latest gadgets and toys or having all the money in the world. (This doesn’t even necessarily mean I will be blessed with the gift of marriage one day.) This means that if we delight in Him, if we follow Him and commit ourselves to His will, His desires become our desires, and He will fulfill them.
GOD also knows when I have reached my limits. When desires overcome me, I turn them back over to Him (I should do this a lot sooner). But, He knows the right time, His perfect time, to bring His will to pass in my life. Which, to me, often seems like another bit of romance in my life. He knows full well that certain desires are needed to be fulfilled, because it’s His word that says:
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12
One bit of good change in my life always gives me a boost to my energy and passion. And, I get to use that opportunity to turn around and turn it into a blessing for others.
You know, I have yet to be blessed with a man to love (and to love me); and sometimes, that hurts my heart. I feel a unique kind of loneliness just for him, the guy GOD may one day bring to me. However, even this loneliness I turn over to my Abba, and He always brings me hope and peace. I trust that there is someone out there for me; deep inside, I really do believe it. My heart has already been romanced by the King, so I know this man’s romance will flow from his heart to serve GOD.
And, if GOD doesn’t have anyone for me, I will be ok. The I AM is the ultimate love. He created and holds my heart, and in that my dreams, desires, failures, and disappointments. I know my heart is guarded because He is guarding it.
That is the greatest romance I could ever ask for!