This week I have been In Search of Beauty and a life unmasked & completely lain bare – because Life must be both to be bearable.
Though the above picture is not form this week, it is a scene I have returned to in my mind a few times this week. In the midst of confusion, shock, and questions, my mind wanders to the places I feel closest to Him.
You see, so many things occurred this week, things that have left me drained, baffled, frustrated, and close to the verge of giving up (again). The biggest being a tragedy sending a world I had once known as reliable and safe into surreal disorder.
The details are not important. What is important is the sense of loss felt: a loss of innocence. And, the shock and questions that follow disillusionment…
As I have spent the week processing, assuring myself that, yes, this is my life, I haven’t yet asked, “Where’s GOD?” Instead, turning my questions to Him, I wonder, “What is going on?” “Why is all of this happening?” “Will life ever be normal?” “When can I have the happy, serene world I have dreamed of?”
Though a small part of me suspects I am just not the person who gets that life – the one I’ve always seen myself in, the happy, peaceful one – when I most need hope, I return to the lighthouse. Here, I find hope that there is a better world. One that makes sense. One full of peace and beauty.
And, when I reflect on His vast ocean, I feel I may actually get to have such a life one day – if I just hold on one more day…
Like the lighthouse that gives hope to lost ships, His beauty in a seascape offers hope to my heart. Hope that this is just a short jaunt in the dark, and soon I will find the light and be safely led to a peaceful harbor.
©Candice Jenee’ 2011
What struggles have you dealt with this week? Is there a special place of beauty you return to, a place that offers you hope? I would love to hear about it and pray with you.
This blog written with In Search of Beauty and Life Unmasked. Check them out for more inspirational and honest blogs.