When I first started seeing “One Word 2012” appear in other blogs, I thought, “What a neat idea. I’m not making resolutions either…” Then, I went back and forth on participating.
There are so many words in life, so many things we could work on, share, or be. How was I to choose just one. I have had other concerns to talk to God about, and one word to work on in 2012 wasn’t high on my list of priorities.
I thought “What if my word is the same as someone else’s? I don’t want that…”
Also, I knew if He gave me a word, it would be deeply personal. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to blog about it…
Yet here I am, blogging about it.
Such a small word. I was sure someone else had it…so I moved on to other words: Love or Faith or Hope.
However, through my prayer times & fellowship times, He keeps bringing me back to this word. It is something I have never been good at. It seems such a simple word, but requires much.
Trusting takes courage… more than that, it takes lack of control, which I don’t give up easily. It means having faith that the other person is not there to hurt you, but rather loves you.
He is showing me its about more than that, my need to learn to trust.
I must learn to trust:
Love – His love; the love of others. I have wondered if love is real. I have asked: Am I truly capable of giving/receiving love? Are others really capable of loving me?
Others – not everyone wants to hurt me. This one is hard for me; I have been hurt so much that I have questioned almost every relationship in my life.
Him – Honestly, this is both the easiest for me and the hardest. I must learn that He cares for me deeply and that I can rely on that.
It’s not that I am a closed person, unable to let anyone in. It just takes so much longer than necessary for me to do so. The walls I hold up take so long to be brought down. I could build better friendships and family relationships if I would just give in, learn this one important skill.
So, my word for 2012?