“…Love your neighbor as yourself…” Matthew 22:39
I recently wrote about the one year challenge I have set up for myself. A challenge to change some of the bad habits in my life. Really, it’s just about a life overhaul where I become a better steward of the life God has blessed me with.
At the core of it all is Love… A love of God, a love of others, a love of self.
My love of God must come first, but before I can love anyone else, I must be able to love myself.
This is no small task for me. I have a lot of mental and emotional roadblocks in the way for this one. I often love everyone else a great deal more than myself. So, I decided to challenge myself to change the things I am not happy with, and learn to accept what I cannot change. To accept the parts of me that God beautifully created to just be me.
Learning to accept the scars left on my heart from a 10 year battle with depression. Learning to see the beauty there that God has made to bring hope to others, because as I re-read my novel – Please, Never Forget – tonight, I realize it is a beautiful story. (Though the events of my life are not the same as those of the characters, my depression was much the same. As was the healing God brought into my life.)
Over the past couple of years I have been so focused on being “free” from depression & focused on becoming a part of the “real world” that I have lost touch with who God made me to be. I have been allowing myself to indulge too much in fantasy, without being willing to always participate in reality.
So, this challenge is about finding that girl God created again, and becoming the masterpiece God created her to be.
It’s about remembering that beautiful little girl who loved to sing anytime she was awake. Remembering the little girl who thought God would make her a princess. It’s about remembering the heart that believed that anything was possible if she believed hard enough…
It’s about remembering what it’s like to revel in world of literary masterpiece. It’s about remembering why I love literature; why I love to write. It’s about reminding myself why I love psychology. It’s about learning to trust the love of others again. It’s about remembering what it means to be in the world, not of it.
Most importantly, it’s remembering my 1st love: My Savior.
And, in remembering all of this, showing myself how to truly love myself for the beautiful creation of God’s that I am.