I bought a fish…
7 months ago…
Before life changed so much…yet stayed oh so much the same…
And, as we go into the last month of 2014, I am amazed that though all that has happened the last 7 months, this little guy is still swimming around happily.
Especially as of late, he has been woefully neglected. Thank God, they are a pretty low maintenance fish.
You see, I love fish. And, I had been wanting to get one for a while, but refused to do so until I could be sure to care for it.
Then, I wanted one, so I bought one… Right before vacation… Unsure of who would feed it for 5 days…
So, rather than buying one of the pretty blue bettas I thought I went to the store for, I came home with this inexpensive guy…You know, just in case he didn’t make it through my vacation the next week…
But, he made it. I came home & he was still happily swimming around…7 months later, still swimming. He has survived a vacation, a horrible pump/filter debacle, irregular feedings, & infrequent water changes.
And, you know what, We’ve made it together.
Through a trip back to Oklahoma for Little Seester’s graduation, through some horrible quarters at school. Through my first date (Squishy literally came into my life the same time as The Airman), my first break-up, quitting a job, a pump/filter debacle (seriously, that destroyed a little piece of both of us), starting back at an old job, a promotion, a new practicum site.
And, we’re both still alive and swimming.
Tonight, as I took a quick moment to partially change his water before curling up in bed to prepare for the 14 hour day ahead tomorrow, I realize that my relationship with God has been surviving in much of the same way.
During all the crazy times of the year, the big ones listed, and the smaller day-to-day craziness we all just face in general, I could have let it all slip away: my fish & my relationship with God. Both could have just died right there at the beginning of summer.
Here’s the thing. One is absolutely essential for me to have made it through everything. And, as much as I love my Squishy, had he died, my life would have continued almost unmoved.
But, had I completely neglected my walk with God, allowing myself to be enveloped by all of the above, or by the day-to-day pressures, I would have fallen apart.
I would not have made it.
I would not have had the boldness to say yes to The Airman, or the strength to break-up with him when the time came. I would not have had the courage to leave a job where I was unhappy & ask for an old job I missed. I wouldn’t have dared to apply for a promotion I had been hoping for since the first time around. I would not have had the persistence to stay in school when it seemed school was doing it’s best to break me. I would not have made it through a 31 day writing challenge. And, even the day-to-day monotony would have broken me.
Finally, I would not have had the care & compassion to take care of Squishy on the days when my energy was simply zapped (which is pretty much every day).
God is my energy provider; it is His Word that is my wisdom, and His presence that is my strength. Apart from Him, I really have no idea where I would be.
So, as we end off November & move into December, I am so thankful that HE IS: always.
And, I am thankful that my Squishy is still here with me 🙂
” ‘Very truly I tell you,’ Jesus said, ‘before Abraham was born, I AM.’ ” –John 8:58