Both are hitting close to home today.
Back in December I touched on an incident at work, a complaint about me. Well, that complainant did go to corporate, who sent it back to my manager. My manager investigated, and found all the facts and they showed that the woman was embellishing extremely, pretty much bending the truth into a lie…About my work behavior. And, so, my manager emailed the DM letting him know the situation and problem dropped, right?
No. No it wasn’t.
Now, 2 months later, it’s back. The woman’s husband is involved, a man I’ve never met, and apparently I am now being accused of being racist… I did my job. Properly. The evidence & facts are there that support that I was doing my job according to company procedure & policy. On my side, race never even was an issue, I didn’t even imagine that it could have been.
Upon learning this news, I am having a hard time forgiving this woman who I’ve only met twice, and a man I’ve never met.
I am having trouble letting go of my anger at their false accusations, and forgiving them for their words & the fear that accompany them.
And, as I wrote before, I again find myself afraid: for my job, and more, my reputation & my good name.
And what’s worse & even more frustrating, I don’t understand why they feel the need to be doing this.
Which brings me to Keep…
I am having such a hard time turning off the fear; and trusting God to keep me: safe, secure, free from harm.
And, heres why, (let’s be honest):
Job wasn’t spared
Ezekiel’s wife was taken
Jeremiah spent 50 years being persecuted, humiliated, and more
Stephen, Peter, Paul: martyred
even Christ was crucified.
Now, I realize that some of these were restored here in this life, but, after much suffering. Honestly, I don’t really have the stomach for that, and I have been more fair-weather in my relationship with God at times than these.
Yet, I know His promise of hope & restoration is for me, today. So, why am I having such a hard time trusting that He will keep me, that He will come to my aid?
Why is the enemy’s lie of fear so much easier for me?
And, how selfish that my biggest worry is how I will look if this goes any further, rather than being concerned of how I can continue to show His love & glory through this?
Because, my current struggle with this fear & unforgiving spirit can’t be bringing much glory to the name of Christ.
But, I’m trying…to let it go. To trust. To forgive.
This is going to take time.
And, perhaps, memorizing these verses for peace and wisdom to keep as much peace as possible: