In trying to get back into the swing of posting regularly, I’m participating in 5 Minute Friday, hosted by Kate Motaung.
The rules are: each week there will be a new word/theme, and bloggers write about it for five minutes; no over-thinking, no over-editing. Just writing.
This week’s word: Heal
I don’t talk to a lot of people about this, but the first time I knew I was depressed and felt hopeless, like, really hopeless, I was in 6th grade.
At the ripe old age of 11, I was convinced of some pretty big lies about myself & the world:
I have no purpose
I’m unwanted and unlovable
Nothing will get better
This world is a terrible place
God obviously doesn’t love me if this is the life I have,
and His people absolutely don’t care about me.
I was convinced to the point of wanting to die…at 11.
And, you know what? Things didn’t get better.
At least, not right away. As a matter of fact, after deciding I wanted to actually live, things got worse, much worse.
But, here’s the thing about healing:
Sometimes, it takes time. Often, it takes time. Rarely does it happen over night.
This blog began near the end of my 10 year battle with depression, and the demons battling my soul.
I felt as if I had no voice…I had been writing for years, but never shared. And, there was so much God constantly laid on my heart to share…
God never left my side, not once.
And, if He never does anything else for me, I owe Him my life, simply for creating me & giving me my life.
And, I know my healing journey isn’t completely over. But, what a beautiful journey it’s been…
I used to think my path was about being a voice for the voiceless but, I’ve discovered that no one is truly voiceless.
I believe the path God has before me is to be a voice for the temporarily voiceless, while helping them find their voice, tell their story. We each have a story, cloudy & messy as it may be. And, each of us has a beautiful, unique voice to contribute to the world.
It is my desire to help others discover and share theirs, while reminding them of the Beauty & Grace of the Author.
One of those precious souls, is a friend of mine from school. Not that she needed any help finding her voice, but she is now boldly sharing on her own blog, opening it up for discussion, out of her own place of exploration and healing. Go check her out and show her some love…
If you are where I was, I encourage you: reach out to someone. Reach out to me. Reach out to a trusted friend.
Pray. Pray for peace & healing.
Take care of yourself. You are precious.
Let that healing journey begin today; and know that I am praying for each person who reads these words.