Wake Up (Ascent from Madness)

Tonight is 5 Minute Friday night – It’s been a very long & trying week.

I’ve prayed over situations, asking God to move so that my weak faith would be supported by sight, and those situations all seem to have only gotten worse…But, I continue to do as Lauren Daigle’s song suggests:

So, for tonight’s 5 Minute Friday, I bring another portion of flash fiction – a removal of feelings from my own life onto paper in fiction form. The word? Common

If one more person tells me this is a common feeling, I’m going to lose it…

They all seem to think they know that feeling – the out of body, this isn’t my life, am I living a dream or nightmare feeling that follows me day in and day out.

I go to sleep and wake up to it – at least, on the nights I’m lucky enough to go to sleep.

Maybe it is a common occurrence…but not like this. And, when I explain it further, they look at me with that look. The look that says, “this girl is crazy”. So, I keep it to myself.

And, rather than focusing on this major difference I have with those around me, I’m gonna be thankful for what I do have in common with them: the love of a good fall breeze, country songs, moonlight, and words.

*BUZZ* my phone lights up with his name.

My heart soars and sinks simultaneously. I desperately wish to snap out of this feeling, so I can feel, otherwise, I’m so disconnected from him along with myself.

God, let me snap out of it…my heart cries as I pick up my phone to respond.

Nothing changes. I just continue on willing myself to change, “feeling” & mind entering a battle of wills, knowing which would win, and unable to do anything about it.

*BUZZ* another message.

God, just something, something of connection. Please. He makes me so happy, I know he does. But, I am so disconnected. This isn’t life, right? It’s supposed to be different? Wake me up. Wake up my heart, please…