Y’all, these pregnancy hormones are no joke. If you read one of my most recent posts, you know my hubby & I are trying to eat at home more, with me meal planning & cooking. The last two days (yes, two days in a row), I messed up our meal. Like, royally messed up. Like, ruined. And both incidents ended with me in a mess of tears.
I promise, I’m trying, I cried to my husband. I’m sorry, I’m just failing right now.
Of course, he is ever understanding, and very reassuring. So, Sunday, we settled for Pizza Hut, because we had a coupon. And, last night, we settled for KFC, mostly because I wanted mashed potatoes, potato wedges, and a biscuit (and, guys, they left out my biscuit…so I cried again…).
Pregnancy is just an interesting time. It is a time we are excused for the tears and the emotions, because our hormones are crazy. But, the fact is, there is a certain level of control we do have and need to exert (but, those tear-filled moments weren’t them. The anger outburst I had the last time an incident like this occurred was one of those times…). Lucky for me, whether I am in a moment of control or not, my husband is just as understanding and reassuring as ever.
But, this idea that we do have a certain level of control & that we have to use it brings me to my thoughts on mom shaming.
DISCLAIMER: I recently read someone share that “shaming” a mom for mom shaming is actually mom shaming…so, if you agree with this, than please be prepared for the irony that is about to take place.
There is no excuse for mom shaming. My idea about mom shaming has to do with areas outside the realm of safety and correction. If a mom is unsure about a safety protocol with her baby, we can help her out without being mean or shaming. A quick (and personal) message on whatever the subjects: solid food feeding, car seats, sleep safety, etc, is the way to do it. No need for public humiliation, and only reach out if it is a matter of actual safety.
However, outside of that, there is no need, whatsoever, for negative comments about how other moms are raising their babies. We are all trying to do our best. We are all doing what is best within the realm of our family, our faith, and our values. No need to shame another mom for that.
And, it starts in pregnancy? This is my first baby. This is my first pregnancy. This is my first experience in this realm. Yet, in pregnancy forums and mommy facebooks I have seen it.
I spent much of my fist trimester worried because I wasn’t “eating” as everyone expected. Y’all, I was sick as a dog for three months, and dealing with such deep depression, eating was low on my list. Even my OB said, “you just need to eat what you can when you can. That’s it”. So, that’s what I did. But in the pregnancy forums, other moms just like me were being crucified, and I felt bad by relation.
There is no need for that. We are all doing what we can how we can.
Another example is a facebook group I’m in, which is supposed to be a Christian group for prayers and support, a mom the other night needed just that. And she was getting wonderful responses that made my heart happy. This is why it’s my go-to group for pregnancy support.
Then it hit. Another mom who told this woman to “go to sleep, the world doesn’t care”.
What?! Oh, heck no!
I was about to go off. I was already emotional from one of my failed dinners, and this? To a struggling mom looking for support?! Guys, I couldn’t take it.
This was a moment I had to choose to control the hormones. I chose instead of responding to the negativity, to respond to the mom who asked for support and advice with kind words and tricks that had work with me, and a reminder that she is welcome to seek support and advice.
After seeing a reminder from the admin about support & all the supportive comments, the second mom wrote another rude comment directed at the group before being asked to leave.
And the mom who had come to a Christian pregnancy & motherhood support page looking for just that? She ended up apologizing for asking for support & for possibly causing anyone to be removed from the page.
She absolutely should not have had to apologize.
None of us should. Pregnancy and motherhood is a time we need support. We need advice. We were built to crave & require community.
So, if you need help, reach out. If you are looking for support in motherhood or pregnancy, or marriage, reach out to me. I’m always a safe and open place. Find a friend you can rely on. Don’t stay quiet because of fear of mom-shaming, and don’t be ashamed when someone is out of line.
And, if you are one of those people who tends to shame, berate, or otherwise comment on moms who do it differently, or are struggling, or really don’t have it “all together”, I will leave you with the words of Thumper (from Bambi):
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”
Granted, this is a double negative, but you get the point. Keep you lip zipped. If you can’t build up and encourage other women, don’t say anything to other women about how they are doing it.
Man, I really needed to get that off my chest…
Now, for the fun part:
We are officially in the 3rd trimester! 3 more months until we meet baby girl!
I’m finally in the last stretch. And, with the cooler (ok, cold) weather (snow, anyone!), I am feeling more comfortable temperature-wise, but obviously more and more uncomfortable each day.
That said, below are 5 products that helped me get through trimester two, and I’m going to share them below. (Remember, I do get affiliate reimbursements if you choose to buy a product through a link, but those lovely little blessings are how I’m able to run the site. I only recommend things I use & love, and know you might, too.)
- Zulu Glass Water Bottle: I shared a water bottle in trimester one, and it’s just as important in trimester 2. This is a new one I got and love it. I’m able to put a drop of lemon essential oil if it’s a day that water makes me nauseous (because, apparently, that’s a thing in this pregnancy). It washes easy, and it travels well. It even has a lock so that it doesn’t accidentally open and spill. Win!
- Leggings. My favorite pairs come from Walmart. They are the Time & Tru thin fleece leggings. However, leggings in general are my favorite. They can rest under my belly & go with all of my oversized or long shirts, as well as dresses. I don’t have a link for these, but trust me, if you’re pregnant, leggings are your best friend!
- Prenatals. Yes, I am still taking them. I continued with the gummys in my second trimester, but have been prescribed one with higher iron, because while I passed my glucose test, it was found I was anemic. I have increased natural iron in my diet since then, but will be giving those new ones a try. However, if my tummy can’t take the new ones, I’m back to these VitaFusion Lemon & Raspberry Lemonade flavor. (Y’all, if you have your choice & are overall healthy, these vitamins are great. However, if you get a prescription from the doctor for whatever reason, do give that one a try, as I will be doing.)
- A pregnancy pillow. The longer I go in pregnancy, the more uncomfortable it is to sleep. This was/is essential! The way it is able to cover so much of my body, and wraps around me. It is so much happy. At least, as happy as it can be for a sleepy, pregnant mom-to-be.
- A body pillow. That’s right, I use both a pregnancy pillow and a body pillow. I have always used a body pillow for my back, but now, I use it in conjunction with the pregnancy pillow to help me get the best sleep possible. Having both surrounding me helps me be able to turn & roll over in bed (beached whale, anyone…j/k…sort of…)
Like something you read about in today’s post? Buy them here!